Lord of Temptation
by Wakkomonkey9258
Summary: Valentine's Day on Dromund Kaas, punctuated by an oddly fatter Darth Baras and a love infested Dark Council. Well, as far as Dark Side love can go anyways.
1. Chapter 1

Lord of Temptation

**Valentine's Day on Dromund Kaas, punctuated by a fatter Darth Baras and a love infested Dark Council, well, as far as Dark Side love can go anyways. **

Lord Ravage liked to believe himself to be an insightful man, a person able to see the slightest change in anyone. He prided himself on knowing people, maybe not as much as Baras and his spy network, but he was still able to keep tabs on a whole manner of people. If there were people Ravager liked to spy on, it was his fellow Dark Council Members, especially people such as Darth Baras, with some limited success. Still, if there was any information Ravager could rely on the most, it was the data he gathered with his own eyes, and as Baras strode into the Dark Council Chambers, the Sith Lord couldn't help but notice some slight differences in the other Lord.

The Lord, once a wall of pure muscle and strength, was now slightly more rounded, with his gut jutting out slightly more and his legs wider than how they had been only a week ago. Ravage titled his head slightly with curiosity, frowning with confusion as The Lord conspicuously sauntered to his seat, getting a small feeling of unease in his gut. Baras must have felt his eyes on him, as his helmeted head snapped over to him and bore into his face. Ravage coughed under his breath and turned his head, but kept Baras in the corner of his eye. Baras was filling out his chair more than he usually did, his minutely more rotund figure filling the expanse of the seat with ease.

Ravage mulled over the conundrum for a long moment until another Sith Lord, Darth Mortis, sat next to him calmly, politely folding his hands in his lap and closing his eyes in light meditation. Determined to get a second opinion to verify his observation, Ravage leaned over the armrest of his chair and prodded Mortis with a slight nudge with the force, awakening him from his musings. The Sith Lord slowly turned his head and regarded the fellow Councilor, "What do you want, Ravage?"

Ravage didn't appreciate the condescending tone, but ignored it to instead focus on his goal, "Have you noticed anything . . . different about Lord Baras?"

Mortis turned his head, glancing at Baras from the corner of his eye. Finally, he shook his head, "What am I supposed to be seeing, Ravager?"

"You don't see it?" Ravage asked disbelievingly.

"Don't tell me this is another one of your little games, Ravage."

"I'm serious, Mortis. Just look at him, he may as well be a different person."

Mortis shrugged callously, "He appears to be the same."

"But," Ravage insisted, "He looks so much more . . . fat!"

Mortis arched a brow incredulously, "You're not being serious, right?"

"Look at him," Ravage gestured subtly at the Sith Lord, "He's looks lumpy."

"I highly doubt a powerful Sith Lord like Darth Baras could possibly be described as 'lumpy'."

"Just look at him, his fat rolls are practically falling out of his chair."

Mortis rolled his eyes, "I don't have time for this foolishness. Look, Darth Marr is already here, so just be silent and listen."

Ravage tossed up his hands in exasperation, "I can't believe you don't believe me, just look at him!"

"Shut up."

Ravage scowled angrily, but held his tongue as Marr's cold voice called the meeting in order, using only half of his concentration to listen to what Marr was saying. The rest of his focus was set on Baras, who sat stonily in his chair and simply twiddled his thumbs restlessly. Finally, after about five minutes of partially hidden staring, Ravage slowly, suspiciously, turned his head back to Marr and listened intently. After only a few minutes, his suspicions of Baras faded into the background of his mind, and by another ten seconds, it had faded almost completely.

However, after five minutes, a single sound was beginning to grate on Ravage's senses. It was an odd sound, a small resounding crunch that was a consistent buzz in his ear. It was a constant, gratuitous crunch that irritated him beyond sense. Ravage was usually a cool and collected man, but in the midst of a boring meeting between people he didn't particularly like, his resolve had considerably shrunken and his tolerance diminished into virtually nonexistence. Finally, he pounded his armrest, "What is that infernal racket?"

Marr broke off from his long speech, and glared brazenly at the source of the disruption, but the sudden silence managed to emphasize the crunching sound echoing within the chamber. Darth Zhorrid frowned with confusion, "What is that noise?"

After a second of a searching, they managed to pinpoint the source of the noise . . .

. . . This also happened to be exactly where Darth Baras, who, coincidentally, was completely ignoring the meeting and instead focusing on the bucket in his hands, was sitting. Unabashedly, the Sith Lord reached his gloved hand into the bucket and pulled out a decadent chocolate. He titled his mask up, revealing a pale chin, and popped the candy into his mouth, chewing loudly. Mortis and Ravage glanced at each other as Marr cleared his throat loudly. Baras suddenly realized the resounding silence and looked up, "What?" He asked innocently.

Marr sighed and pressed his palm against his mask tiredly. Vowrawn decided to step forward and ask the question that everyone was thinking, "Darth Baras, just what are you doing?"

Baras shrugged, "I was bored."

"How could you be eating chocolates in the middle of this important meeting?" Ravage asked, exaggerating the importance of the meeting he himself had no interest in.

Baras recoiled, hiding his chocolates in his arms, "I eat when I'm bored. Zhorrid eats Puff Cake during War Meetings."

The female Sith Councilor's jaw slackened and she subconsciously smacked her lips, "How did you even . . .?"

Baras leaned forward slightly and scrutinized the woman, "In fact, you have some white cream on the right side of your lips."

Ravage smacked his forehead while Marr jumped between, snapping out commanding words before a fight broke out, "Both of you are to be silent, or else I'll eject you both from this meeting. And Baras, Zhorrid's eating patterns are not your concern, especially considering you yourself seemed to have become a little more rotund in the stomach area."

"Hah!" Ravage exclaimed, turning to Mortis to shove his triumphant finger into the Councilor's face, "I told you!"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Baras whined, sounding on the verge of tears as he popped another candy into his mouth.

"Wait a moment," Thanaton interjected, speaking for the first time since the argument began, "Are those candies shaped like hearts?"

Baras quickly hid the box deeper in his arms and glared at the Sith Lord, "Maybe, why do you care?"

Thanaton jumped up from his chair and scowled furiously, "I had a bucket of chocolate hearts on my dresser the other day, but then they were gone this morning. Did you take them?"

"Thanaton," Marr snapped, "Sit back down."

"Oh, these were yours?" Baras drawled, pulling something out of the folds of his robes, "I suppose that would explain this little tag that was stuck on the top of the box."

Zhorrid stiffened in her chair, a look of petrified terror on her pale face as Baras raised it mockingly in the air, "Don't read that!"

"To my handsome Valentine," Baras read, changing the inflection of his voice into that of a woman's, "From Z, hmmm, I wonder who Z is?"

Ravage glanced at Zhorrid, who seemed to ready to positively faint in her chair from embarrassment, and promptly burst out laughing. Thanaton's face darkened with rage and he used the force to throw the laughing Sith Lord out of his chair, "Shut up, Ravage! Baras, I'll destroy you for this."

Marr smashed his fist onto his armrest and snarled, "Thanaton and Zhorrid, you two may handle your sexual and highly superficial relationship later. Baras, sit down and shut up, now!"

"I want my chocolates back," Thanaton hollered.

"And I want Baras' head on a pike," Zhorrid screeched.

"Don't worry about your chocolates, Thanaton," Ravage shouted from his position on the floor, "I'm sure Zhorrid will give you some nice chocolate after the meeting."

"All of you shut up!" Marr hollered, "Sit down, right this instant or I will eject you from this meeting!"

It took several minutes, but order was eventually restored, and all the Sith Lords returned to their respective seats. Marr took several calming breaths and resumed talking with grinding teeth. However, before he could fully delve back into the meeting's topics, Darth Mortis leaned forward and spoke, "Zhorrid, might I ask where you got those chocolates?"

The Darth Lady crossed her arms guardedly, "What's it to you?"

Mortis glanced at Darth Hadra, who was smirking back at him with an almost evil glint in her eyes, "It's a long story."


	2. Chapter 2

**That Dark Romance! **

His kisses on her neck were feather soft despite his savage nature. She would never have imagined that someone with hands that had strangled and killed countless people could be so soft, lightly massaging her back. She moaned as the knots and stress drained from her body, and she leaned back into her chair, dragging him forward with her. She tasted chocolate, his favorite food, and playfully nibbled on his lower lip, eliciting a low growl from deep in his throat. His hands moved downward steadily, reaching for her hot, throbbing, and ready . . .

"Alright, cool your engines you teenagers."

Darth Thanaton shouted in surprise and jumped off Darth Zhorrid, who also shrieked in potent rage and embarrassment, which rebounded rather loudly off the high ceiling of the Dark Council Chamber. Thanaton, red with embarrassment, lust, anger, or all three, reached for his lightsaber and turned his eyes on the person who had caught them: Darth Howl.

The Sith Lord, who was smirking in smug amusement, showed no signs of fear as Zhorrid angrily pointed her finger at him, "What are you doing here?"

Howl crossed his arms and was practically radiating mirth, "Thought I sensed a hint of lust here in the Council Chambers, so I figured I would investigate. Then I watched you two go at it like wild Ton-Ton for a minute or so."

"You watched!"

"At first I thought the Teenage sith had snuck into here to make out on a bet again, but then I found two Dark Council Members. I was interested, to say the least."

Thanaton shook with fury, "You - you . . . voyeuristic pig!"

"I'm not the one to blame," Howl defended, "Everyone on the Council has caught you doing it at some point. You're both far too erotic for your own good."

"You're one to talk, Howl," Darth Baras appeared out of nowhere behind the Sith Lord, chuckling in amusement, "You have the most erotic _Darth _name I've ever heard Darth _Howl_."

Howl looked down at his nails with a wolfish smile, "Trust me, the ladies know why I chose that name," He winked at Zhorrid, who shuddered in disgust.

Thanaton face palmed, "Where did you even come from, Baras?"

"I was wearing a Stealth Field Generator and camped out on the ceiling."

Thanaton and Zhorrid's jaws both dropped at the same time and Howl applauded, "I must say Baras, as fat as you are now, I'm surprised you got up there."

Baras, who had somehow misplaced his mask, pouted his baby face and looked on the verge of tears, "It's not my fault Thanaton can't protect his chocolates."

Thanaton's eye twitched, "I don't even have any chocolates."

"What?" Baras cocked his head curiously, "Then whose were they?"

"Baras!" Darth Ravage stormed into the room with his eyes alight with rage, "All seven of my chocolate boxes are gone, and your fingerprints are all over my safe, where did you put them?"

Baras smiled mockingly and patted his rotund stomach, "They would be here, Ravage."

"How did you even get into the safe?"

Zhorrid cut in before Baras could derisively respond, "I think we're all forgetting the fact that Baras was watching us from the ceiling."

"It's your own fault," Howl commented as Baras and Ravage continued to argue behind him, "You two seem to get it on everywhere except your own beds. Hell, one time Ravage caught you two making out on the Emperor's Throne."

"I will be forever blinded," Ravage groaned after hitting Baras over the head, "Zhorrid was half naked . . . Although I will admit; the sight was not a horrible one."

Zhorrid buried her head in her hand with a groan. Thanaton meanwhile threw a force push at Ravage, who teetered on his feet for a second, which gave Baras the opportunity to flick the Sith Lord in between the eyes. Howl hollered in laughter, but stopped abruptly as Zhorrid screeched and threw herself at him, knocking him backwards onto his back. Ravage groaned from Baras' blow and stumbled backward, tripping over Zhorrid and Howl as they tangled on the ground. It was absolute chaos until a massive roar echoed across the room.

"What are you all doing in here?" Darth Marr bellowed.

The Sith Lords instantly stopped and turned to stare as the Emperor's Hand quaked and seethed, hands bunched up in fists and breath coming out in huge gasps. Howl, who had ended up on top of Zhorrid, looked down at her with wide eyes. Zhorrid looked back up at him with a 'womprat in a headlights' look. Howl cleared his throat, "Marr, I can explain . . . sort of."

"Really," Marr snarled, "Ravage is on the ground with a bruise on his nose, Howl is on top of Zhorrid, Thanaton is piggybacking on Baras, and all in the middle of our entire Council Chambers! How exactly do you plan on explaining that to me, Howl?"

Howl blinked blankly as he tried to find an explanation, then shrugged and pointed down at Zhorrid, "It all started when Zhorrid and Thanaton tried to do it in our chambers."

Marr stomped his foot and threw his hands up in exasperation, "I thought I told you two to stop trying that after I caught you doing _that _in Baras' chambers."

Baras' face reddened wildly, "What!"

Thanaton's face dropped, "She tempted me with muffins."

Ravage, against his better judgment, asked, "What flavor were they?"

"Not those kind of muffins, Ravage."

"In the name of the Force," Ravage muttered, throwing his hands up over his face as if to block the odd images that began to seep into his head.

Howl cocked his head with interest, "Did they taste good?"

Zhorrid threw a dirty glare at Howl that managed to cow even Howl, who flinched in fear. Then she mumbled under her breath, "They tasted fine."

Marr stormed forward and pointed at them all, "You're all complete idiots."

Howl began to extricate himself from Zhorrid, "Point taken."

Marr grabbed Howl by the shoulder and threw him off of Zhorrid, "You two can have an affair behind Thanaton's back later, but not near my damn chair."

"Marr," Thanaton growled while he tried to pull himself from Baras, who was clinging to him rather fearfully, "What are you even doing here?"

The usually cold, uncaring, and apathetic Sith Lord faltered, then seemed to fidget with his fingers as if he were actually embarrassed, "I . . . I forgot my speeder keys."

There was a collective blink as they all stared at an increasingly uncomfortable looking Marr. Finally, Ravage managed to cock an eyebrow through the swell of pain in his forehead, "Marr, you don't even own a speeder."

"Oh . . . right," Marr grunted, paused, then said, "I'm afraid I forgot a number of mine here written on a datapad, and I came here to retrieve it."

Baras reached to his belt and pulled a belt from one of the loops with a dark smile, "Would it happen to be this one?"

The Sith Lord immediately lunged forward for the datapad, but Baras dipped out of the lunge, and Thanaton subsequently collapsed off his back with a cry of shock. Baras held out his hand and held back Marr as he read loudly from the datapad, "List of possible girlfriends to pick up, including Darth Ekkage," He looked genuinely surprised, "You do realize she's one hundred and one right?"

"She has a nice body for an older person," Marr growled, drawing a chorus of shocked gasps, "She's certainly filled out better than you Baras."

"Why are people always bringing up my weight now? I'm not even that fat!"

Ravage burst out laughing and pointed at Baras' wide stomach, "You've gained atleast a hundred pounds in fat."

Baras cried out in rage and was distracted enough for Marr to snatch the datapad and smash Baras in the face with his fist. Another bout of chaos broke out as Ravage lunged forward and snatched the datapad from Marr, who chased after him. Baras pulled him back and began to crush him with his pure weight. Thanaton jumped back onto his back and unleashed a bolt of lightning into his spinal cord, causing his arms to spasm and release Marr from his grip with a yelp. Marr stumbled forward and slammed head to chest into Zhorrid who squawked in surprise.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!"

All the Sith Lords stopped as someone stumbled from behind one of the Council Chairs, a female. Darth Hadra groaned and rubbed her temples, glaring rudely at her fellow Council Members as they stared with wide eyes at her. Her lips pulled back in a feral sneer, "What are you idiots doing?"

All the male members had their throats jammed with shock, while Zhorrid was covering her eyes in disgust. She peeked through her fingers at Hadra and commented, "Hadra, you're half naked."

Frowning, she looked down at her curvaceous body and shrugged, "Yeah, looks like I am, I wonder why?"

Another person stumbled out from behind the chair Hadra had come from, this one male. Darth Mortis was dressed in nothing but boxers, with a heart shaped puff of chest hair on his chest. His thick hair was frazzled, and a dazed look was set in his eye. Ravager almost fell unconscious at the sight from shock, but Mortis, the calm and unshakable, seemed perfectly happy in his boxers. He slung his arm around Hadra and smiled, "What did we miss?"


End file.
